Taking Care of Yourself: Lingering Fear

Happy Thursday, Positive Animal Caregivers! ♡🐾

I’m writing to you from Asia this week, after a long 14-hour flight and a slow adjustment back into a different time zone. There is work to be done here, eventually. But first, I’ve been savoring a few quiet days reconnecting with old friends and familiar places.

How was your week? Did you find a moment, even briefly, to step away from it?

For the next few minutes, this can be that moment.

Animal caregiving has a way of compressing everything — the good moments, the hard ones — into the same day. Before moving on, let’s pause and check in —

Add a note if you want (I read them all)

I still remember my first night shift at the dog boarding house. The dogs lay scattered around the living room while I tried to make myself comfortable in the bedroom. But every gust of wind made me wonder if one had somehow slipped outside. In the end, I curled up next to the dogs on the floor, managing no more than an hour of sleep through the entire night.

I had long resisted pet-sitting gigs. What if a dog jumped the fence? How would I pull something from a dog’s mouth as he chewed down something he shouldn’t? What if one dog severely injured another? The joy of cuddling with pets hardly seemed enough to justify the responsibility of someone else’s fur babies.

I was reminded of that anxiety when I came across a recent study on fear. Surveying more than 40,000 dog owners, the Dog Aging Project found that “more than 84 percent of dogs showed at least mild signs of fear or anxiety in everyday situations.” Half of participating owners reported that their dogs were fearful of unfamiliar dogs, while nearly a quarter identified unfamiliar situations, objects, or noises as common stressors.

Animal caregivers are beginning to understand how to help dogs manage that fear. By minimizing stressful situations while gradually increasing exposure to identified triggers, we can help pets slowly build resilience. By pairing stressful moments with desirable rewards — treats, lots of them — we can begin to soften what once felt unmanageable.

But what of an animal caregiver’s fear?

When I first started at the daycare, I jumped whenever the dogs barked, worried that the inevitable had finally arrived. But over time, as I worked shift after shift, I spent less energy dwelling on the what-ifs and more time enjoying my daily interactions with the dogs. Most days pass without major incidents. Still, by the end of each shift, my mind feels emptied out. Sometimes, I can barely summon enough focus for the ten-minute drive home.

And then there are the odd days. Fights break out. Dogs get nipped. Last week, one swallowed a plastic wrapper, and all of my fear came rushing back. I panicked. But I got through it, learning how to better handle the situation for the inescapable next time.

As a five-year veteran at the daycare once told me, “The fear never goes away. From a dog eating poop to a dog harming another, I am always worried that something may happen under my watch.”

I think she’s right.

Researchers at the Dog Aging Project suggest that a dog’s fear often cannot be eliminated — only recognized and managed. My own fear, it turns out, works the same way. It has quieted, but it has not disappeared.

On quieter shifts, when the dogs have tired themselves out and the room settles into a low, collective breathing, I find myself doing what I imagine the dogs do: listening for the next thing. A gate latch. A sudden bark. A change in the air.

The fear does not announce itself the way it used to. It has become something closer to attention. Whether that is growth or simply accommodation, I am not entirely sure. But the dogs are still here, and so am I. Most days, that feels like enough.

That’s the estimated percentage of cats who display behaviors associated with separation anxiety. We often talk about anxious dogs. But it seems our feline companions may be carrying their own quiet worries, too.

Add a note if you want (I read them all)

Mark your calendars for these upcoming opportunities to connect with others:

Here are the ways to recharge this week. Pick ONE small thing that makes you smile. You’ve earned it. 

Listen: “Float On,” by Modest Mouse, a reminder that, somehow, we keep moving through.

Watch: 2AM Coffee, a 2-minute short film that is simple and to the point.   

Write: A few lines in your gratitude journal. This week’s prompt: My Fear. What has it taught you?

Appreciate: The “Isle of the Dead”. A haunting painting, and one people have been returning to for more than a century.   

Try: Spend part of a not-yet-summer day near water. A beach. A river. Even a quiet bench beside a fountain.

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Thanks for spending part of your day with me and the rest of the Positive Animal Caregivers Club. Take care of yourself this week. Remember - even superheroes need naps. 

– Philip